hiatus

My apologies for my 3 followers, I dropped off the face of the Earth. While floating through outer-space, I've been on a rollercoaster for my mental illness and social life.

For the 6 months gone, I had rid any depression I had. It lasted until the start of this year. That's a decent 3 months. I'm not sure how or why, but ultimately I can choose to ignore my mental illnesses. I'm sure I can do longer than 3 months, I just thought it was becoming seemingly more numb after a while. Environmental aspects were now impacting my sadness; not only chemical. I stopped seeing my councillor at the start of this year, as well as diary entries. I'll have to explain some stories in later posts to catch you up on where my life has taken me.

Two days ago, I went back to my councillor. I deemed it time to go see them, as I've been getting anxiety attacks out of the blue more frequently. I had to go home and inform my mother; which was dreadful. For somebody filled with pure ignorance, I should be awarded some kind of medal. This traumatic experience (I use this term lightly) leads me to an anxiety attack of it's own. I do dread my mother, I really do. She's unsympathetic and stupid to say the least.

I'll be off to the GP to be redirect to a psychologist. I won't be looking forward to this. I don't really want help, because if I do we will have to touch on my depression. I don't know if it's just me, but there's days I cling onto the depression. There's days I enjoy knowing that misery is clouding me always, as it's the only consistent reliability. I compare myself to others and cringe at their idiotic teen ecstasy minds. They themselves are ignorant too.

With that note, I'm off to roll back into bed and read,

the other one