Showing posts from 2015

Work Training

So straight after school, I had to go to training for work. I've already worked there a few times in favour of my mum (who works there), but apparently I was required to go to the specific training for more responsibility (which I didn't really want). My mum works at a jewellery store, and on the holidays I come in and work as a junior. This means I work behind in their office, cleaning the stocks and helping produce the little boxes and bags the jewellery is packaged in. 
But this time they wanted to train me into serving at the counter. This terrifies me, as a fellow anxious person. So after I knew why I was there, I was internally freaking out. I couldn't see how to get out of this. I don't want to let my mum down, either. 
Everybody who was there knew the reason for why they were there. I had no preparation besides some of my mums basics. I hate jewellery, so I never listened when she told me about it. My mum and her colleges are a very close knit group of friends, a…

The One Review

4.5 stars overall
2.5 for the first half
5ish for the second half

The One by Kiera Cass
I don't like her writing style. A few times she's misused words or phrases them poorly. The first half of the book had me struggling to continue. But suddenly after the half way mark, I couldn't let go. In total, I cried 3 times for this book. For the last 30 pages, it took me 2 hours to read... Mainly because of crying so hard. 

I didn't like in the series how absolutely nothing changed for three books. The same stuff trends:

- problematic politics- Mer is gutsy for her fellow poor caste members- she loves her family- her and Max are super happy together- Aspen appears- devious other Elitists do something- Mer makes it worse for herself- this usually is a public announcement that (is awesome and far more interesting than a Katniss Everdeen propaganda speech) is against the King's wishes- the King gets angry- Max and her are on the rocks- she decides she will give up and is not worthy…


Hi! I know it's been a really long time since I've posted- my apologies.

It's well into the early hours of the day, so I'll keep things quick. Don't fret, I'll extend later.

The reason I haven't uploaded is because:

Sweet 16 SillinessAnxiety struggles in the midst of the yearly exams Oh. I thought the list would be much longer... But then again, all I do is literally stare at glass or paper all day for "fun". Guilty is charged. 
My anxiety made me go into a horrible state and I've kinda recoiled like a hermit. I haven't left the house in just over a week. To keep my mind completely off my panic, I read the entire Twilight Saga. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this on my blog, but for years (3 or 4) I've adored Twilight. It's one of my favourite universes to escape in to. Did I distract myself successfully? 

Now that I'm on holidays, I have time to read all the books I picked up from the library before I locked myself away…

Five Summers Review

Five Summers by Una LaMarche

Although this book flashes from one perspective to another, and gives "heart stopping" plot twists (that serves no purpose since the reader has no context or connection to these secrets), the book DOES truly linger. It gave me an OVERWHELMING sense of nostalgia for these four girls... That ARE fictitious!!  
Emma, by far, was my favourite to read from. Then Jo. Then Maddie. Then Skylar [man, she was a big ol' b*tch- I tell ya]. 
I didn't really see the point of Maddie's character. Her secret could've been developed a lot better and had more focus. Jo's conflicting ideas on her identity and then leading to sexuality was fascinating and ground breaking simultaneously. It's uncommon these days that four young feminists (which is discussed briefly in the first half of the book) to discuss such unique, individual struggles they went through. 
Albeit, some of there mantras were annoying and I wanted to stop reading the book, but thi…


I just got back from the orthodontist.

On the 8th of September, I will be the last person in high school to get bracers. I'm 60% anxious that I'll be a senior with a brace face, and 40% anxious that I will not get to eat my chewy lollies or lick the front of my teeth for 2 whole years.

In 2 years, I'll be in university. I'll be an adult who's supposed to be exploring the world and looking hot and all that jazz.

I'm all for being who I am. That is, a complete and utter geek, nerd, dork and any other form of a socially inept, generally high intellectual who will one day be the boss of all the people that were feared in high school.

I'm already as geeky as it gets; glasses, lack of close friends, social agenda revolves around being great at school and not leaving the house, and in my spare time I like to study and read, as well as the occasional board game and education on fictional universes. But adding bracers? To a high school senior?

How do I deal with it a…

The Infinitive Sea Review

The Infinitive Sea by Rick Yancey

I made it 3/4 of the way through and refused to go on anymore!! It was too painful to read...

It was well written, but I had no idea what was going on. There wasn't really a recap on anything including the 12 million characters he expects us to track. Maybe it was just not my style, which is a shame because I enjoyed the 5th Wave. I may need to reread them at a much slower pace since I need to have professional skills in comprehension and translating to understand a fraction on what's going on! If anybody has read it, please discuss it with me.

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We Were Liars Review

We Were Liars by E Lockhart

A perfect combination of the scandal in Gossip Girl and the heartbreak of John Green. This novel is truly a page turner! Although it is leaving you bland chapters in the middle, by the second half you can't put it down. 

Like any coming of age YA novel, I expected not to be impacted much. But alas, this will scar me forever, and I'm glad. I'm not too sure what the moral was, but I will always remember the suspenseful tragedy and how it's changed my perspective forever.

5/5 stars (a new favourite book of mine!! :])

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Passion (Fallen #3) Review

Passion by Lauren Kate

It wasn't necessary to make a whole book out of, it was quite boring too. I'm going to continue on, but really, if you're not overly obsessed with this series and just want to finish it- don't bother with this one! It does have some (trying not to spoil) cute scenes but overall it was repetitive and left no questions answered.

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A Discovery of Witches Review

I've realised this isn't a YA vampire literature, but adult vampire literature. It's incredibly dull, and is basically a fantasy of the author, including being 15 years younger with her dream man. 

Basically a memory of her glory days in Oxford, aside from being a which. But she sure did study alchemy. I can't read any more. It's really dull and not suited for 15 year olds who want their does of YA.

1/5 stars

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Dash & Lily's Book of Dares Review


The quirkiness of it all has you constantly giggling.

Amount of times I dropped the book because of a scene? 6. Which is a lot since I am immune to most corny YA reads. But this was different!

It had such a unique diversity to it, it's officially one of my favourite books. The characters are written strongly, with good use of minor characters. They weren't too "in your face that we take the attention away from the main plot" and the two perspectives were integrated beautifully. It never was repetitive and had an excellent pace to the progression. To top it all off; the ending was the most settling, satisfying thing in the whole book.

Questions I must ask (some spoilers):
1. Was Thibaud mentioned before the party? In Dash's POV? Or did I miss that? (I know this is techically 3 questions but you're just gonna have to deal with it)
2. Is it possible that Priya fancied Dash?
3. How old was Dash?

I truly recomme…

Feed Review

I heard of this book while binge watching the vlog brothers. Hank talked it up so much, I knew I had to read it.

Unfortunately I hadn't seen it in any of the book stores, and then suddenly there were 5 copies in my local library!

The book is set in a scifi dystopia, with a bunch of teenagers. As usual. Oh! With a corrupt system where everybody has a "feed" imbedded into their heads. Human's were computerised. Titus, a conspicuous teen boy, meets a girl, Violet, and along with his friends they go hang out at a night club. The night takes a turn for the worst when a hacker fries all of their feeds. Glitching and making them 'mal' (malfunction). They all soon recover, aside from Violet. But it can't be that bad, can it? It's just a computer. Except it's not. It's the new central nervous system, the brain takes second in command. What's Titus to do when his new girlfriend is dying? 
As tragic as Hazel in TFIOS, Violet's malfunction is the …

Sydney Holiday Adventure

For the past week my friend has been visiting.

I've shown her around my city, which has been a lot of fun. She's quite quiet so it was hard to feel like she was having fun. I don't have many pictures because I look too fat right now. So instead I'll explain the details!

The first day we did nothing because she was sick and we only had a half day. We decided to just chill until dinner where I took her to a Thai restaurant for a group gathering I was invited to. She's a picky eater and unfortunately didn't eat anything. We got home and crashed.

The next day she was again, not feeling well. So we slept in, and then played Card Against Humanity until 1, where we went to San Churros for some fancy chocolate treats. Luckily, she ate here! :)

Tuesday started with another sleep in. Well, really it was a stay in until about 3pm when I decided to go to Book Club. I had an anxiety attack before, I'm not really sure why. I think I was scared of how many people will see…


I weighed myself today. After a week of running and dieting, I have lost no weight. None. Nothing at all. I handled this by cutting myself- but it was quite distressing since I'm having a friend staying over for a week and I know I couldn't hide it the entire time.
So I just wasted a week of my life when I could've been eating my favourite foods and staying in bed. Which is what I'll be doing after today. I guess I'm just meant to be this size. Great. 
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Gone Book Review and Update

Hello, my friends!

Goals for the Holiday:
a book a daygo for a run once a dayeating healthyeventually doing my assignments, probably the last week of it I haven't read a book a day, but I have finished 2. I have 4 more books to read, and I will be reading them before my friend comes to visit for a week. I also want to have read them all so I can return them when it's the monthly YA book club. I'm going to bring my friend along to that.

This week's read was Gone byMichael Grant. It was a really enjoyable novel, it had a captivating plot line for the entire book, with 2 main perspectives: The Good (kid's from the FAYZ, who help people) and the Evil (from Coate's Academy, the children who are sent there have usually been out of place). Sam, the main protagonist for the Good, was in history when his teacher just "poofed" from the class. Skeptically, he and his classmates searched the class. Half the kids, who turned 15, were missing from the room too. Afte…


Finally my second term is over!

It's actually going pretty fast- I'm scared for my final year in high school that's coming closer.

To celebrate the end of term I had a few friends over to eat some pizza and play Cards Against Humanity. It certainly was fun; laughter, food and a good game. I'm still eased by social situations so it wasn't the best. By the end of it I was ready to crash. It truly was a good night, better than going out to an event I'm forced to endure with content I'm not really wanting to hear.

My holiday's are going to be filled (hopefully) with:
a book a daygo for a run once a dayeating healthy (?????? I haven't done this in a while)eventually doing my assignments, probably the last week of it I'm either super healthy or super not so I'll keep you posted on my goals. If I focus on these as a mantra with "focus only on today" then hopefully I can do it!
Current Weight: 76.6kg Social Event/Outings: 1 (pizza game nigh…


Today was horrible.
I arrived at the Library at 12:30 to do my assignments. I finished by 1. I had 2 more hours until my mother would give me a lift home, and although I love to read, I left all my books at home and didn’t want to start anything new. At around 1, a boy similar age to me sees me through the glass windows of the library. Like a zoo animal on display, he stared at me through the barrier. 5 minutes later, the chair closest to mind squeaks as somebody sits down. I turn to see the guy from before, directly and whole-hearty staring and examining me. From my awkwardness and uncomfortableness, I began to sweat. This is starting to sound like a freaky fanfiction, but I can assure you reader’s, anything I tell you today was a negative. 
I could feel his eyes on me, watching my every movement. He finally moved and inserted his eye phones in his ears. I swear he didn’t blink. All he would do was watch me type as I did meaningless adjustments to my edits. I turned up my music and dug…

Catch-22 (Ch 1-4)

"Men went mad and were rewarded with medals. All over the world, boys on every side of the bomb line were laying down their lives for what they had been told was their country and no one seemed to mind, least of all the boys who were laying down their young lives."
Reading only the first 4 chapter's of Catch-22, I'm already effected. The writing is beautiful, the narration is witty (and a little cynical),  and there's so many messages portrayed that I don't understand why nobody else is crazing over it. Sure, it's been 50 year's since the first publish, but the youth of today needs to read about this. 

It's been decades since the Vietnam War, and yet, men are still choosing to go made for a medal. Humanity is still searching for the resolution and recognition they desire for the meaning of their existence. The question isn't why. But how? How are we not realising our own faults? How do we stop this paradoxical meaningless [while searching for m…

Read More

Hello my fellow readers,It has come to my attention that everybody is not reading enough. Sure there's fanatic book reader's like myself, unfortunately, that's not enough. Every morning, recess and lunch I go to the library, and I am one of the only people in there reading.Reading is so different compared to other forms of entertainment. Here's some fact's that I googled;

Children and young people who do not achieve expected levels of literacy are likely to be from disadvantaged backgrounds.14% of children in lower income homes rarely or never read books for pleasure.Only 1 in 5 parents easily find the opportunity to read to their children.Parents are the most important reading role models for children and young people.(National Literacy Trust, Reaching Out with Role Models, April 2009)10 to 16 year-olds who read for pleasure do better at school.(2013 research by Dr Alice Sullivan and Matt Brown from the Institute of Education)Reading for pleasure is more important …

4 Years Later...

I had the blessing to spend the entire day with one of my fellow crushes.

She has been a never ending blessing and curse throughout my coming-of-age. As the confusion grew for my identity, she has exponentially contributed to the issue. I was insanely jealous of all her close friends when I moved to the school, and over a year I was attempting to be best friends with her. At the time, I thought it was just to be her closest friend. But I wondered- why did I want to be her closest friend? And why was upset when she showed interest in other girls?

Either I was an insanely possessive girl, or had a big-time girl crush.

And not the girl-crushes straight girls get.

I realised I was only associating to her friends because they had known my crush for a long time and were well-established with her. I decided to switch groups. From this time forward, I had time to catch up and continue my "self identity" phase (lot's of fashion errors and regrettable stories for another time).


Journaling Project

To figure out my trigger's, my councillor has asked for me to record all my mood's and describe what's around me/ what's going on. Of course, I won't be publishing those online. I have many diaries, but I won't be bringing in any of those for him to see... So I'm starting a new one, purely so my councillor can't read my actual diaries, what teenager wants that?

I haven't recorded anything in 4 days- oops.

I'll be working on it, catching up. I have a long weekend so hoorah- another day to procrastinate! Having that one extra day has really helped me plan out and achieve more. I wish we had more long-weekends.  That one extra day is a god sent.

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Thank You!

Here is a quick post to say THANK YOU! I reached 1000 views on my blog today! I'm so happy I've been able to achieve this. The first of many milestones to accomplish, I'm sure. Thanks for my faithful 4 followers.

I'm not really sure what to post for your appeal, so if you have any suggestions: PLEASE! COMMENT! BELOW!

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The Challenge of Adolescence

It's hard to tell when it's mental illness or just plain OL' stereotypical adolescence getting in the way of my interrelationships. I've tried to reesemble my life. I deleted my facebook app(not the account just yet, I have photos on it), snapchat and have kept only my tumblr and instagram (things I use as down time and make me happy). So far, so good. My life has that extra little stress relief. I'm not sure why I felt stress from facebook and snapchat. I usually regret the things I post and say, due to sounding self indulgent. 
As an attempt to have less regrettable memories, I've been attempting to restrict myself to 200 max. words at school. I've figured that if there's anywhere im going to talk, it's going to be to my family. I haven't been that warm with my family for the past few years, and vice versa. But under instruction of the chief, aka doctors and concellors with wisdom and my respect, I have tried to bond. My main concern is, I will…

Discrimination Still Exists

In Australia, I rarely ever see genuine racism for nonwhite races. 
But today, I was revealed to the ugly truth.
While on the bus, my driver swerved straight passed a mother with 2 children and a baby in a pram. This was unmistakable to see. If it was, her frantic waving from the bus stop was. 
My bus driver made eye contact with her, and continued to drive. 
I forgot to mention the fact that she and her children were aboriginal. 
My bus driver just muttered derogatory terms and drove on by.
Being shocked by the confrontation was naive. But now I've learned there is still filth in people that needs to be reformed.
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Where Have I Been?

To save you the trouble of reading for paragraphs, in three words; bed. school. repeat.

It's been 2 weeks since I updated, oops. Sorry. I've noted heaps of posts I wanna make, though! So yay for that.

For the first week I was away, I was in a cycle of laugh, cry, eat, sleep. Nothing interesting was happening at school, I felt like I wasn't really learning much. Which is disappointing since I'd like to be learning stuff and progressing to some sort of formality we call "success". My last published post was of my camera breaking, and let me say, for the pst 14 days, 11 of them were with my camera broken.

So after the week on mind numbingness, I had the desire of an experiment, which I like to try sporadically. So from about Friday onwards, I didn't wear make up. I deleted all my social media of which I know people from (aside from tumblr, but who would give that up). I read more, thought more, and listened more. And cried a bit too but it happens.

I began t…

Post Fail

This morning I was going to show you my skin care routine, so I got out my supplies and camera.

I set up the products to look all cute and bloggery, when the disaster begun.
My camera didn't have my SD card. What's wrong with that? Well, I haven't touched my camera since Photography class last Wednesday, and we didn't utilise them due to a Photoshop lesson.
I went along with my backup card, begining to take off the lense cap.
But, oh,
It's jammed onto the lense! It's completely stuck. I took a look at the settings on the camera; none of them were my usual settings.

My camera is quite common, Canon 600D.
I'm devastated that either somebody has broken my camera, or replaced it with theirs.
Either way, that camera cost me $700 and I want my good ol' camera back!
Until next,
the other one

Daily Log

Good evening, readers!

Today I had to wake up at 7am on a Sunday, for work. I don't usually work, but my mother pulled me into hers for some easy money. Easy indeed. I worked for 5 hours at Pandora, simply making the bags they use to gift purchases in. I got to observe a whole range of middle aged housewives spending money on a franchise that lacks everything including originality. I hear one server explain to the buyer how "personal the experience is" to buy their jewellery. I rolled my eyes and focused on what I will do with my money once I'm done ( books, books and more books). There is anything but a personal experience when it comes to buying factorised cheap Thailand metal, sold at it's peak for a trend because the jewellery has become affordable for the working class.

As I was walking buy an optometrist, I overheard 2 of the specialists. "Why can't they just see? It's so obvious. JUST SAY THE DAMN LETTER." Initially, I was shaken by heari…

Daily Log


I woke up 20 minutes for school today- oops. I hurried along, tried a new Pinterest hairdo (which I received plenty of compliments for, thankfully). Currently, I'm subjected to learning quite a bit of religion at the moment. It's starting to set an effect on me, which is being treated remorsefully.

I ate 2 brownies today, and I'm fully aware I will regret this in the long run. Unless I do run, but I doubt I'll be leaving my room for the next 24 hours anyways.

I'm enjoying studying Shakespeare, it's very pleasant to find meaning easily through the texts. Although, ancient plays wouldn't be my go to for studying relevant aspects of humanity in modern society.

After 4 hours of maintenance, my blog is a bit more modernised. I've spoken with a fellow friend who is thinking of co authouring this blog with me. I'd feel relieve to have more diverse features and articles, but it also means I reveal my mental illness documents. The previous and the futur…

Favourite Genre?

To appeal to my audience's taste, I have constructed a poll on my blog to observe what is the favoured genre. I'll try to make reviews according to these results, in order to maintain an interested audience.

Please give it a look, it only takes 3 clicks

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Currently Reading

You can check me out on Good Reads or The Reading Room to see what I'm up to more frequently.

Blog Makeover!

Scrolling through Pinterest, I found some excellent tips on a good blog. Albeit, probably advice from a middle aged house wife who enjoys spending her time writing "fashion tips" after dropping off the kids to school. But alas! I loved the article, and I've been inspired to jazz up this blog. For the sake of my now, get this, 4 followers. Thank you to all that subscribe!

On my blog, I hope to achieve reaching out to an audience. About my passions; writing, books, graphic design, hair/beauty tips, feminism, self care... the list goes on! Of course, their will be days I will blog about mental illness. I'm sorry my blog is such a diversity.

I'll probably have designated days when I post a weekly thing. Review Sunday, Madhair Mondays, Tip Tuesday, Web Wednesday, Feminist Friday... okay maybe I can't be a daily blogger... But I have the intentions! I'd like to blog about books and writing and beauty so I shall!

Things you should know about me;

I have long hair,…


My apologies for my 3 followers, I dropped off the face of the Earth. While floating through outer-space, I've been on a rollercoaster for my mental illness and social life.

For the 6 months gone, I had rid any depression I had. It lasted until the start of this year. That's a decent 3 months. I'm not sure how or why, but ultimately I can choose to ignore my mental illnesses. I'm sure I can do longer than 3 months, I just thought it was becoming seemingly more numb after a while. Environmental aspects were now impacting my sadness; not only chemical. I stopped seeing my councillor at the start of this year, as well as diary entries. I'll have to explain some stories in later posts to catch you up on where my life has taken me.

Two days ago, I went back to my councillor. I deemed it time to go see them, as I've been getting anxiety attacks out of the blue more frequently. I had to go home and inform my mother; which was dreadful. For somebody filled with pure ig…